“Love is like a dinner table with 4 legs.” – Ron C.
[The average human being] looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor of fragrance, and talks without thinking. – Leonardo Da Vinci
And here I am with my friend Ron, a wise gentleman in his 80’s talking about life and marriage.
“Alex, after 63 years of marriage to the same woman, I can say that I consider myself lucky that in my early years of life, I found the secret for a long and happy marriage…”
After pronouncing “63”, a woman’s voice came straight to my ears from the background saying:
“61 Ron, it’s 61!”
I look at my friend, who was smiling secretly and making me understand that he probably was wrong…
According to him, there is a big rule that you actually don’t have to consider a rule, but as something which has to be present into your heart and soul every single moment of your life. And that moment starts right after you pronounce the words I Do signing with your honor the most important contract of your life: Marriage.
This “rule” is called the Rule of the 4 C’s. After you get married there is one thing you should never stop practicing: keeping your “dinner table” in balance.
Because you cannot eat on a table with 3 legs if this table was originally designed with 4 legs. A balanced table will never let your food fall down on the ground. A balanced table brings happiness into a family.
But what if I tell you that every single leg of this table represents a C?
The story of the 4 C’s
In order to have a long marriage you should start thinking that you might want to stop eating on the floor. We all want to eat our dinners from a balanced table. But you will never be able to keep a family upright if there is not a commitment (the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, person). After you add the first leg to your “table”, you will realize that the commitment will need the element number two, communication to put the table for the first time in a certain balance. Day after day, your marriage will work in a certain way, but that will not be enough.
Commitment and communication alone cannot bring a full balance to the marriage. You and your partner would always have to stay in two different corners keeping the table from not falling on the right or left side.
The third element, compromise (an ability to listen to two sides in a dispute, and devise a compromise acceptable to both) will then make you sit close to your partner at the same table. You two will then be able to have dinner close to each other. Only the fourth element will separate you from being the happiest couple. The forth element will let you eat your dinner using your both hands. The day you will be able to add the fourth element, companionship (a feeling of fellowship or friendship), your table will be able to stand straight alone, and you will be able to eat your dinner without worries…
“Alex, remember one thing though. Once you finished building your dinner table, you should not forget one simple thing: Keep the table always clean and healthy! Because every single day of your marriage will mean you trying to remember the meaning of these 4 words and practice them into your couple life.”